to you: seriously, i dont think i shld continue being nice to you.
its like when you're emo, we accompanied you and stuffs,
just to not let you be emo. and then you still take our kindness
for granted. when you criticised my singing, i wasnt pissed at all.
the reason why i didnt want to continue singing was due to the
fact that since you already think its out of tune, what for continue
to TORTURE your ears. just fucking let those people who can sing,
continue singing already. and you know what? to me, the impression
you gave me, is somebody who can criticise others, but the others
cant give you the same treatment. its like when you said about the
Gushikami thingy, i only said jokingly that you pronounced it wrongly
and you went off and said its because i was a frantic and whatsoever.
so hey, you trying to tell me now that you can kid and criticise others
while on the other hand, i ought to be a pathetic victim who cant take
revenge huh? thats what you trying to tell me?

and then i seriously dont see what the fuck is wrong with some pple.
why the fuck shld i be so nice to offer you guys the ktv ticket huh.. if
you're fucking not interested in the first place, then tell me so. i'll give
the ticket to someone else. the other time i asked you, you said ok, so
i took the ticket from my brother. and den look what fucking happened
today. i dont wish to criticise or say anyone ok. i just dont tink i fucking
ought to receive such fucking attitude when ima already sponsoring the
ticket. it really doesnt fucking pay to be kind.

sorry if you guys didnt enjoy the outing tdy, i know many didnt.
cause i fucking didnt as well. but not to worry yahs, i will never
ever organise such fucking outings anymore. (:

oh & did you know that its possible to read those strikeout words?
if you're desperate to know what ive written and you are incapable
of finding out HOW to read them, den maybe you can ask me
& i'll tell it to you, if i feel like it.

and then and then, i really cant stand some fucking idiots. like what
the fuck i give you the decision for huh, its for you TO MAKE IT.
whats the point of asking me to decide every fucking details that ive
already decided to let you decide? zzz.

den i was emoing badly on the bus la. :(. i was thinking, why is it that as
people grow older, its like more and more difficult to get their birthday
wishes ah.. maybe its because as u grow older, ur wishlist gets more and
more complicated. just like when ure eight yrs old and you'll prolly wish
for a new set of barbie dolls and now, ten years later, you're probably
wishing for something that is really difficult to get.

you know ive been having a secret crush on a guy for five years
(around there, lost count already) and all along, ever since my 13
year old birthday, maybe my innocent birthday wish was to wish
for him to have a crush on me back. and then, year after year, i
wished for the same thing, only to find out that my disappointment
was adding up as the years past by. den some time ago, i was asking
myself, when exactly did i stop wishing for that birthday wish?

i realised that i myself didnt even have an answer to it, because
every year, i was so afraid of wishing the same old thing, only to
find out that that wish will never come true at all. i was so afraid
that i didnt know when, my fears overtook my hopes and i totally
stopped wishing for it. and i was so confident in telling myself that
i will forget that person, when i come back from Okinawa. but i failed
to do so. because ima failure, i told myself to stop coming online, told
myself to close off any contacts and relations but i failed to do so. this
is why ima Okinawa FRANTIC because you fucking dont know that
the only time i managed to stop myself from thinking about him, was
when i was in Okinawa. so i ought to apologise for being an Okinawa
frantic, ima sorry for being an Okinawa frantic. ima sorry for reminiscing
so many so many things about Okinawa because i dont even fucking
belong there in the first place. sorry, but i dont tink i shall continue
from here. i shall let end this post here.

♥ 9:11 PM